Sick mama

I'm laying in bed while you're out in the living room playing with your Tia Joz. You're saying "wawa" (water) which you learned yesterday and now use for any and all drinks. You've also learned "nana" for banana and when I said "Brown Bear damelo" today you brought it to me. You can also now successfully climb into the bathtub which I have mixed feelings about.

I am not the best mama today because it feels like there is a mechanical shark monster wreaking havoc on my organs. But all you know is that Mama isn't playing with you as much as usual and isn't being as patient. I'm sorry. Luckily your Papa took the reigns yesterday and your Tia is here right now. It's hard for me not to be able to give you my attention and hope that someone will come take you so I can come lay in the dark on my belly and close my eyes. We did have some fun today though. We showered together and you learned how to uncap my lip colors and markers. Your hands are red and neon pink now as a result.

I promise I'll be back to you soon and we'll be in the sun playing and laughing and loving our health.

Today:

Hair brush

This morning you picked up the hairbrush which was on the floor next to where Papa was laying and put it to your head as if you were trying to brush your hair. You got pretty frustrated though when you realized how heavy it was.

A few minutes later Papa got a phonecall from Opa and you took my phone to your ear and said "a-oh".

I get so happy.

But what would make me so much happier would be for your little chest to heal. You've been having cough attacks and they look painful and annoying. Papa's in the kitchen right now making you some soup in hopes you'll have a big enough appetite to eat and it'll nourish you. Be well, baby girly.

Baby breath

As I lay here next to your tiny body, though bigger than when you made your entrance 11 months ago, I can't help but be in total awe, wonder, and gratitude for your presence. I can't believe you're all mine. You make me the happiest person in the world every single day by mere virtue of your existence and that melting bright 8-toothed smile. I think about the way you climb me when a song comes on that you like, an urgency to pick you up so you can kick those soft little legs abd scrunch that little button nose while grinning ear to ear. Laying here, in pure unconditional bliss, listening go the rhythm of your sweet--oh so sweet--smelling breath, I want to frame laminate encapsulare this moment forever. You give me so many of these moments in which I think that if God had given me just this single solitary moment to be alive, my life would be complete and wonderful. Your little hand over my chest is your reminder that I am here and I am yours to keep because I was born so that you would have a place to rest your perfect dimply hand as you sleep. Being with you is facing the reflection of God and it is beautiful.

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How do I love thee...