Dear Mom:

I refuse to let you affect me negatively anymore.
I refuse to let your sharp words wound me.
I refuse to bear the weight of your insecurities.
I refuse to give in to the guilt trips.
I refuse to fight back.
I refuse to respond to your threats.
I refuse to be afraid of your death.
I refuse to resent you for lying about me.
I refuse to take it personally.
I refuse to stop filling the bucket with a hole at the bottom.
I refuse to compare you to anyone else who has it figured out.
I refuse to hate you.

I choose to forgive you.
I choose to have compassion for you.
I choose to be myself despite you, not to spite you.
I choose to love who I choose even if that person hurt you in the past.
I choose to to have more love and joy in my heart than pain and sadness.
I choose to use what I've learned from you as a way to deepen the connection with my daughter.
I choose to live my life proudly and with dignity.
I choose to be happy and be satisfied and grateful.
I choose to love you even though you know not how to receive it.
I choose to LOVE you.

6:30

Alex just chuckled in his sleep. :-D

Also, I'm loving holding my baby close while she sleeps soundly this morning. It's fleeting and adorable.

But. I have to pee.

The Beach!

Alex, Joz and I took Hallie to the beach for the first time yesterday. SAND. EVERYWHERE. But it turned out okay after she napped.

It was great to see the Ocean again. Such a glorious masterful monster.